what matters
by krienity
Summary: uchiha itachi's massacre of his clan has led to ameko, another genius, growing up with her family's fear. when akatsuki realizes how strong her bloodlimit is in her hands, they decide that she needs to be recruited or elimnated. she just wants to get away
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own only the plot and my oc.

A/n: this au is like a mix of our world and theirs. There are ninja villages, but not many compared to the population of the earth. Most shinobi become special police or join the military.

indicates memory

The young girl held the kunai, running it through her fingers, looking at it. Considering. It hurt. She could feel it, inside. She knew there was a way to end it. Should she? ……... She thought of her mom, of her family in general. They would miss her. Alot. She continued to look at the kunai with softly glowing blue-grey eyes. No. She wouldn't do that to the people who loved her. She wouldn't do that to her mother. Sighing, she looked up and saw faint tendrils of color floating around her sleeping mother. She frowned. Her parent's room was down the hall, how could she see them through the walls? And why were those tendrils the only color she could see? ...Her eyes widened as shock frissioned through her. Omoi-metsuki. The emotion eyes. Her family's blood-line limit. She looked slowly through the house, wonder growing. The world was made up of gray objects, with tendrils of color near where her family members lay sleeping. She stared for a few minutes before it slowly faded from her vision and she was surrounded once again by the dark objects of her own room. As omoi-metsuki faded out, her depression came back to her. With one last glance in the direction of her mother's room, vision again blocked by the wall, she placed the kunai under her pillow and lay her head down. Her news could wait 'til the morning. She didn't feel like talking to anyone right now.

3 yrs. later

11-year-old Ameko watched her uncle carefully. Omoi-metsuki detected no emotion from him; hers also kept tightly under wraps. Even concentration and determination kept muted. Suddenly he was in front of her, amusement glowing from his fists as they hurtled towards her. Eyes narrowing in determination, she _pulled, twisted, pushed. _And her uncle was yanked back. He hung by his wrists, suspended from the two closest trees by ropes of green amusement anchored with red determination. Yellow was steadily being wound around the green to keep it out of his reach as surprise poured out of him. Then he laughed. He tried to break the bonds, but she continued spinning any emotion that he put out. He nodded. She loosened his bonds and he dropped to land neatly in the grass. The glow faded from their eyes. "That was good. You're really getting the hang of manipulating others' emotions. It might be about time to teach you some of the higher level family jutsu." Ameko smiled.

Ameko opened her eyes when she heard movement. It was 1 'o clock in the morning, but she had only just gone to bed. Two figures stood, smokey grey in omoi-metsuki, tension swirling around them in muddy red clouds. Aunt Satsuki and uncle Tensuke. "There's trouble. Lets go." uncle Tensuke nodded and they were both gone in a blur. Ameko frowned. _'Hmmm...' _She debated trying to find out what was going on. _'Sounds serious...it would be good practice, too...' _she shrugged. Sleep could wait this once. _'Alright.' _Suppressing her emotions and chakra again, she headed after her family. They were trickling into the family meeting place in twos and threes. Ameko leaned back and considered how to get in. They would probably catch her if she tried...She remembered something her uncle had said to one of her cousins who was being difficult about learning his techniques.

"Bunshin are ideal for spying and intelligence retrieval missions. Do you know why?" the boy shook his head moodily. "When you release the jutsu all of the knowledge that the clone has acquired becomes your own. Now imagine if you could spy on cute little Amaya-chan with a bunshin that could release itself if she got too close." The cousin looked surprised then nodded, a blush spreading over his cheeks as he fingered a bruise on his arm.

Ameko smiled. _'Ok. So bunshin. But how to get it in? Not as family, they'd notice that there were two. Not-family wouldn't make it in at all...What would make it in? ...ah. A cat. Or a bird or something. Using henge.' _Concentrating on keeping her chakra unnoticed, she created a shadow clone. It smiled at her, then henged into a moth. After watching it flutter down on the summer breeze and through the trap door she sat and waited for the meeting to end.

By the time the meeting ended two hours later she had found her way back to her bed and sat waiting, half-awake. When the jutsu released she straightened, images and impressions - memories - flitting through her tired mind. Uchiha Itachi had killed his clan, everyone but his little brother, and was now gone. They had talked about what to do now, in this crisis. She didn't really understand. Then they had discussed what could have made him do it, if there was still a threat to the village. To the clan. They had discussed her. Confused, she absorbed her clan's debate on her. She wasn't like the rest of the clan. She never said how she was feeling. She had kept her feelings muted since she learned how to do it. She was getting stronger. Someday she might be stronger than any of them. She had never shown any signs of this...but they hadn't expected it of Itachi either. They decided to watch her. Confused and hurt, Ameko tried to work through what this all meant. Frowning, she shook her head. She curled up among the blankets and pillows, and let sleep wash it all away...


	2. Chapter 2

"Again." Her little sister charged at her. Her green eyes glowed as she threw a frustrated punch. Red emotion trailed after her fist as Ameko moved aside. She hadn't reached the point where they taught her how to cloak her emotions yet. _'Funny how something so easy for me is something that the rest of my family has to be taught, has to practice. They really are so extroverted.' _Tsukiko continued to charge after me, her emotions a thick cloud around her. Frustration, resentment, concentration. At 12 she had just become a genin, and was doing better with the omoi-metsuki than the cousins her age. I continued to dodge, occasionally reaching out to give her a push where she left herself open. Training with her was like reading a book that you had read a hundred times. It held no excitement, and it was hard to keep your mind from wandering, but it was something to do. I had never really been all that passionate about being a shinobi. I couldn't imagine life without the omoi-metsuki, but the idea of being in the military or being a police officer had never appealed to me either. Distracted again, I noticed a frustration charged kick coming from behind a rain of kunai too late to dodge it. I threw up a shield of surprise, while at the same time twisting her frustration into a rope around her foot before throwing it up into the nearest tree. Her shriek of shock and indignation hurt my ears. I lowered her gently to the ground. "Alright. Let's go in." Huffing, she sulked inside surrounded by a colorful cloud of resentment, frustration, disappointment, and jealousy. Ameko shook her head, and walked away.

They were spread out over the lawn as they ate dinner. A bar-b-que with the whole clan. Her mother came and sat beside her and her sister. "How was your training?"

"Fine," Tsukiko grumbled, still put out over her inability to land a hit. Her surliness was a haze around her.

"And you, Ameko?"

"Fine." I continued eating, not showing my flash of exasperation and annoyance with Tsukiko's childishness.

"You know, it wouldn't be a bad idea for you to finish school here, Ameko. You have a great deal of potential as a shinobi, and the school here would help you with that. And you could take the jonin exams. Then you could take higher level missions. We need as many strong shinobi as we can get to take down Akatsuki and Orochimaru."

I looked at my mother, surprise in the rise of my eyebrows. She waited for my response.

"Wouldn't that be pointless? I only have one year left, and I'm not even serious about being a shinobi."

"Well, you could stay near the clan home, get that last bit of shinobi life before you start college, go to school with your friends around here... I thought that you wanted to move anyways."

"Living with the family doesn't count as moving. Moving involves the excitement of seeing a new place. I'd like to finish school with the friends I have there; I see these friends every summer." _'And if it wasn't inconvenient you would remember that I told you I had decided to stay there instead of coming back to the clan or following you when you get a new assignment in a year.'_

"Going to a new school is still exciting, especially since this school will have classes that your others didn't. Since you're going to college and quitting the shinobi life you can go to college with your other friends and take this last chance to be a part of your shinobi friends' lives."

"I'd rather not," I said, my voice deadpan, having decided to end this and make my opinion clear.

"I think it would be good experience for you. You'll be glad to have these last memories of being a shinobi when you're older," she replied, making it clear that it wasn't really a choice. I glanced at her. _'Nope. Not a choice.'_ I continued to chew slowly as I composed myself, using my tightest cloaking on my emotions. Finally I looked up.

"Very well." I finished my food in silence before leaving the section of town where most of our clan lived.

When I found a suitable tree outside of the village I sat in the upper branches to sort my emotions. _'I wonder what they're all saying about me,' _I thought bitterly. _'No doubt my lack of reaction has set them all to talking again. Humph.' _My movement almost violent, I made a shadow clone. It looked at me through ribbons of resigned sorrow, hurt, and anger before cloaking, henging into a bird and flying back to my family. I realized that my omoi-metsuki had activated when I arrived at the tree, out of sight of the village and my family, fueled by now unchecked emotions. Angry tears made the world a hazy blur of transparent color. _'I don't want to change schools. I don't know why they would even want me to go to a shinobi school, they're all afraid of me already.' _I snorted as the bitter tears started to fall, my own little rainstorm. _'I know all of the family jutsu, I beat ojiisama at the beginning of the summer, and I did it using that stupid legendary family technique that allows you to control your opponent using their emotions. Heh. Bet they really didn't like that. Controlling the clan head. That's probably what put a bug in all of their ears. They probably want to keep an eye on me. Was it too much? Should I have kept it to myself? Should I have lost? No. it would have gotten back to them that I could somehow. It would have been a point of pride from anyone else in the clan. Chh. It's not like I asked for this. Why can't they see that I would never do that to my family, never do what he did?' _I looked up at the darkening sky and wiped my cheeks, sniffing. _'It doesn't matter,' _I told myself. _'There's only one year left, then I'm on my own. There's nothing they can do to hold me when I'm 18. Just one year.'_ I sniffed again, _'heh. Yeah, I'm real emotionless. What would my clan say if they could see me now? Probably be grateful...or think I was finally gonna go on a rampage.'_ I shook my head. _'It's not the end of the world. I can still write to all of my friends back home. I can see this one year as an opportunity. I don't get to fight against shinobi outside of the clan much. I'll learn things that I won't be learning at any point after this. I can devote this time to perfecting my new jutsu. To perfecting my shinobi skills I suppose. To planning my escape. I'll have lots to show everyone and stories to tell when I go back. They love to see my 'tricks'.' _My lips twitched. _'Maybe I'll challenge my clan when I graduate, see if I can defeat them all. That would be funny...but it probably wouldn't make me feel any better. It would be interesting to know. Would probably get me into more trouble than the satisfaction would be worth, too.' _I wiped my cheeks and pushed my hair behind my ears, absently staring out the branches at the clearing below me. Softly, I whispered, "just one year. It doesn't matter." I closed my eyes as I felt my kagebunshin release. _'...Yeah. Same as usual. They'll be watching me this year.' _I smiled faintly, _'they have no idea what to do with me after though. There's nothing they _can_ do.' _I opened my eyes and turned to stare at the leaves near my face. They were shadowy in the last light from a sun that was no longer there. _'I'll make it through this year. It's not really anything I haven't seen before. It doesn't matter.' _Witha last sad glance around the clearing and a stretch, savoring the feeling of being able to sit uncloaked, I jumped to the ground. I wiped my face and composed myself before recloaking. Mother was sitting up when I got back to the house. I gave a nod before turning to the room I was staying in with Tsukiko. _'I imagine it will be my room for the next little while.' _

"Why can't I stay and go to school here too!? I actually _want_ to be a ninja!" Jinya yelled. I gave him an annoyed look that he completely missed in his struggle to be left behind as well.

"Jinya! We are leaving. Grab your stuff and let's go!"

"No! You can't make me! I'm not a kid and this is what I want to do!" I rolled my eyes. At 15 he had the strength to become a chunin - being a shinobi was a real passion for him - but he didn't have the maturity so he had failed the exam. Every other summer I had left with them to go back to wherever mother's current assignment was.

"You can leave on your own feet or on a leash like a toddler who's having a tantrum."

"You can't do that! Its child abuse!" he yelled threateningly. I snorted.

"Is that a no?" My brother crossed his arms and glared. "Fine." My mother's eyes glowed a soft blue, Jinya's following a second later. Activating my own I watched as mother reached out and started spinning his own frustration into a leash that she could use to drag him home with. He fought her, trying to cloak better, but he was too worked up to do it properly. He was an extrovert by nature, just like the rest of the clan. It was over in 30 seconds, an enraged, red - faced Jinya bound tightly in his own anger. He wouldn't be able to get out either. He needed to be in control of his feelings before he could regain control of them from mother. Which meant she would be able to tote him home with no problem, his anger would continue to feed the leash until she released it. Shaking my head slightly I stepped forward and gave my mother slightly stiff hug, trying to remind myself that she was my mother and I wouldn't see her again for about 5 months. Then I stepped back to hug Tsuki more fully. Ruffling Jinya's hair and earning an angry growl for it, I moved back and waved.

"See you at Christmas."

"Bye Ameko. Keep your grades up. See you at charismas," mother replied, stepping forward to give me another hug. "Love you." Tsuki waved and mumbled a "bye", and they were gone.


End file.
